I am writing today about strengthening love relationships. As wives and mothers, I know we find it all too easy to focus all our attention on that next appointment or responsibility; a “what do I have to get done to finish this day?” approach, to life. God’s plan, His desire, is for our lives to be more than a finished checklist. The relationships we build are intended to be a type of reflection of our relationship to God.
II Corinthians 13, verses 4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

As I think about these verses, I think about what a wonderful example my husband is. He has been so patient with me and the children, and now, the grandchildren. He is kind and gentle and loving and caring. He is modest and slow to anger. He does not seek approval. He is always there to protect and serve our family and our friends. He probably has the most gentle spirit of anyone I have ever met. As a husband, he is committed to our relationship and makes many sacrifices for our family. He honors the family unit. And, our sons, want to grow up to be like him. I want to share with you a poem one of our daughter-in-laws wrote.

“Your Little Girl”

What a daughter wants
is to be loved,
to be cherished,
to be hugged.

What a daughter needs
is your attention,
your caring,
your affection.

What a daughter desires
is to be the apple of your eye
and not need to search for that
in some other guy.

She wants to know she’s pretty
She wants to know you’re proud.
She wants to feel special,
because her daddy is around.

If a daddy gives these things
that I’ve already said,
all a daughter wants
is a husband like her dad.

– Suzanna Giles 10/28/12

What about you? Do your daughters see you as loving towards your husband? Will your sons seek to find a woman who treats them as you treat their dad?

If you constantly complain about your husband, this is what your children will see as the way relationships should be. If you treat your husband with love and respect, they will seek a mate that will treat them that way as well.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down.”

When my husband and I were first married, my mom gave us an old plaque she had found. I read this plaque every day for many, many years, as I had it hanging on my bathroom wall where I would see it many times a day. Now, after several moves, it’s old and need of cleaning and repair, but I still enjoy reading it time and again. I have often thought about making many of these and passing them on to newly wedded couples or those having troubles in their marriages, as a reminder of how to treat their marriage. Here is what the plaque says:

“A Happy Marriage”

Never both be angry at the same time.
Never yell at each other,
Unless the house is on fire.
If one of you has to win an argument,
Let it be your mate.
If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Neglect the whole world, rather than each other.
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
At least once every day, try to say one kind or
Complimentary thing to your life’s partner.
When you have done something wrong,
Be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
It takes two to make a quarrel
And the one in the wrong is the one
Who does the most talking.

Hmmm…. The one in the wrong is the who does the most talking? I know that is has been me, many, many times.

Ladies, as moms, we are teach our children. We must put God first in our lives. We must take time each day to be in HIS word. My sweet friend, Sally Clarkson, penned these words, “In the absence of Biblical conviction, Moms will go the way of culture. In the absence of a loving home, children will go the way of the culture.” I believe this is true. In our home, we did not always put God first and I was unsure of how to incorporate a daily schedule of spending time in His Word with the children. This is something I wish I would have done better about asking for help. I wish I would have had an older woman from church who would have come alongside me and taught me this. But, we often do not want to be held accountable in this manner.

In Titus II, verses 3-7, Paul says, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then, you can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

The relationship we have with our God is reflected in the relationships we have with our husbands and our family, as well as others in our lives. The love that governs these relationships is our testimony to a lost world and defense from a morally bankrupt, often hostile culture. In 1 Peter 4:8 Paul tells us, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Jesus says to us in John 13: 34-35, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” And again he says in John 15:12-13, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for his friends.

Jesus tells us over and over the greatest thing we can do is love one another and put past us that which others have wronged us and love them, as he loves us. He chose us; he died for us. We should then also put others’ needs above our own. He will take care of our needs when we do this. When we love like God loves, we see each person past their sins and we love them anyway. God loves us past our sins, and we are to love others as God loves us. As we love earnestly and forgive and move past sins, we are able to extend grace to those around us, just as God freely gives us grace. We should pray for help with loving others through their faults. He commands us to love; it is not an option. We need to review God’s love through His Word frequently as a reminder of how to love as He loves us.