Needing a refresh in motherhood?

Come to the A Mom’s Heart in IL “tea” to be encouraged as a mother, fellowship with other moms, and find inspiration.

Our mission is to restore mom’s hearts to God’s heart for motherhood, encouraging others in their journey of motherhood.

Details:
Come enjoy a delicious brunch, tea, and fellowship with other moms.

Listen to a special mom, Carrie Gaxiola share her story. Ask fellow mothers questions in a panel.

Here’s a little about our Keynote Speaker   

Carrie Gaxiola has been married to Urban,the love of her life, for over 31 years, is the mother to 8 children, and grandmother to 3 sweet little angels. Carrie & Urban have homeschooled their children for 27 years and have served in various ministries, pastoral, home school group leaders, teachers and worship leaders. She currently works part-time for her church as the Welcome Ministries Director and magazine editor. She said her biggest accomplishment in life is accepting Jesus into her heart and learning to let Him refine and keep her through all the trials of life.

Brunch and “tea” will be served.

Date: Saturday, May 5 from 10:00-1:00 (extended hour until 2:00 for additional fellowship provided)

Invite a friend!

Fee: $10 for one person, $17.50 for two, $25 for 3, and $30 for 4 or more in same family.

Nursing babies are welcome. Sorry, we are unable to provide childcare for others at this time, however, girls who are able to sit through a speaker and enjoy their time with you are welcome.

Location: Fairview Heights Church of Christ, 9955 Bunkum Road, Fairview Heights, IL 62208

Host: The A Mom’s Heart in IL team

Follow us on our Facebook & Twitter pages for updates and details!
https://www.facebook.com/AMomsHeartinIL/

Sign up here: http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07ef3vp6hj3d9b586f&llr=ghdes9uab

Or here:

http://www.mariesrandomthings.com

Any questions, please email Debra Giles at debsmomheart@gmail.com

It’s difficult to get a kid who is not your biological child and not a newborn either. Trying to figure out how to deal with them and show them grace is not easy. I did not always do well with our children when my husband and I were married almost 22 years ago. Some needed so much more attention and snuggling and yet stimulation than I knew how to give. We managed somehow with blending our family, but having them come together as a family at 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 years old, was much more difficult than it was with the one child we had together a year later. For that matter, the two I brought into the marriage and the three he brought into our marriage were easier for us to understand since we had been with them since birth.

There was so much change in these childrens’ lives. They had been through turmoil. Their parents loved them, but they were no longer with both their parents and at their ages, they didn’t really understand. I’m sure they felt they may have done something wrong that caused their parents to get a divorce. I know I felt that way at 10 when my parents divorced. Our children were still in many ways mourning this relational split and trying to find routine as a one-parent family. Then, they had extra siblings and a step-parent to get used to 24/7. This could not have easy on them. It wasn’t easy on us as parents. Although we loved all of them as our own, there was a certain sense of responsibility we had for the ones we brought into the marriage. When they acted up, we were defensive often. When we thought one wanted too much attention, we didn’t know how to deal with it. A couple months after the first year, we had a child together. We thought this would be a bond and give our family someone in common. It did, but it took time too. Things don’t just happen overnight, even in a non-blended family.

The first few years of marriage and bonding our family was very difficult. There were so many things to deal with. We both had exes who we thought it was important the kids spend time with at least a couple weekends each month. Being that they lived 4 and 5 hours from us, and not in the same town, it was often difficult to make this happen, but we tried very hard. The kids did at least get to see their grandparents often. (and there were many of them now)

Take lots of pictures of what they make, save them and maybe you can find a time when they can play with their creations while the younger one(s) is occupied elsewhere. We had to side-track R doing something while the older kids played with Lego’s as she was likely to eat them. 🙂 Then, when T-man came along, it was really important to keep the small things away from him. We were fortunate enough to have an area we could call the Play Room and T-man couldn’t go into it, or we would have him in the walker so he couldn’t get things they were playing with. We still had to keep an eye on him, but it afforded me time to cook lunch or dinner while he was down playing as well. He spent a lot of time in the walker during me preparing meals. 🙂

I say all this to encourage you. You are both doing a wonderful job and I know days come when we all get discouraged and need someone to pat us on the back. How I wish we were closer so we could see y’all more and maybe take the boys for a couple hours each week so the two of you could go out and shop, or dinner or movie, whatever. That time is so very important. Joe and I did not take much of that time together when we had little ones. About 3 times per year, Shari, (the kids called her the Bunch Lady) Sondra or Heidi came to stay with them while Joe and I went to dinner and sometimes a movie. That was our time to re-fuel and relax so we could be better parents and husband & wife. We also took trips home for the older 5 to be with grandparents and their other parents. I know that isn’t always an easy thing for y’all, and it wasn’t easy financially for us either, but we made it happen somehow. I’m sure God needed me to keep some of my sanity. LOL.

What I truly wish I would have known then was to surround myself with positive women who have been through these trenches already and could guide me, even if they didn’t know that’s what they were doing. So often if we say we want someone to “mentor” us, they run away, worrying they won’t be the mentor you may need. We can all mentor though, whether it’s to someone younger or someone older. Many of my mentors are younger than I am, but I also have some great mentors who are older and wiser. I didn’t spend enough time in God’s Word, listening to my mom, or other ladies who were likely trying to help me. I was so tied up in my day-to-day, that I didn’t see God sending people to me. I didn’t know to pray for this either.

It wasn’t until October 2002 when I met the woman who would become my mentor and friend. I devoured her books, emailed her sometimes, and prayed for our lives to cross in the flesh again. It took 8 years, but our lives did cross again. I met wonderful women through her. Women of a caliber I had never met before. They were strong Christians who had so many hurts and pains, yet… they kept their eyes on the Cross. These women and I now have a bond, some stronger than others, but, I know without a doubt, they have my back and will pray for me and with me any time. We all need friendships like this. Where we don’t worry about telling our innermost feelings and struggles for fear of judgment or loss of friendship.

Because of the time with the women I met in 2010, I have prayed and others have prayed that I find a group of women locally who will share the same ideals, who will be one another’s prayer partners, who will help others when needed, who will listen and not judge. I now have this wonderful group of women in my life. We gather together most every week in a home, eat dinner together, talk about a book we are reading through together, (or just talk) and we have grown so close to one another. We talk on a daily basis. Sometimes we chat all day long and have 50-100 messages between us, sometimes we only have 3 or 4 between us in a day. But, we have a bond like I have not seen between grown women. We take meals to one another, we drive one another to doctor appointments, we sit with one another in the ER, we watch one another’s children, we live life together. It is a wonderful feeling to have friends like this.

So, I say to you, Momma, hang in there. Pray without ceasing, and Fully Rely On God. He will give you strength you didn’t know you had. He will see you through the tough times, the “I can’t take it one more minute!” times. He is your Rock, your Hope, your Strength, you Shield. He will bring women into your life to mentor you, that you can mentor, and He will build friendships like no other, if only you ask and continue praying fervently. Ask others to join you in prayer. I had many women praying for me. It didn’t happen overnight, so don’t lose hope. Friendships take time to build. Some, you think may last do not, some you aren’t sure will last, will surprise you and possibly be the best friends you could ever hope for.

When we are faithful and we wait for God, He does amazing things in our lives! God is strong, we are weak. When we give him our fishes and loaves, He multiplies them and we are gifted with so much more! Don’t lose hope, don’t be discouraged. Stay strong, give your worries and cares to God and see how He will change your world.

I cannot believe it is already eleven days into the New Year. I think my mind is still stuck back in last fall. So much has happened since I last made an entry into my blog. I think my resolution this year should be to write more. 🙂

As I sit in our hotel room in Chantilly, VA, I hear all the hustle and bustle of the DC area traffic, the planes coming into and leaving Dulles, yet, there is a serenity to the day. My dear husband had to come out for work, so I decided to tag along this trip. It has been over 11 years since we lived in DC and I couldn’t wait to see some old friends.

Our trip out began on Saturday very early. We brought a friend along so she could see her new granddaughter, we stopped in Ohio and saw some dear friends. This trip began as a rejuvenation, and I believe it will end better than I had imagined. Here’s a little about what we’ve done so far.

After about 6 1/2 hours into our trip, we decided to contact friends who we hadn’t seen in almost 19 years. To our delight, they were not busy and were able to meet us while we ate our lunch. It is amazing how even when you don’t do well at keeping in touch and many years pass by, there are just some friends who never leave your heart and you can feel a connection with them again immediately. This is certainly the case for our sweet friends, the Wheelers. Joe was working with Jay when he and I married and I soon became friends with his wife, DeLana. They are such a sweet couple and though we didn’t hang out a lot, we always encouraged one another and listened when we had prayer requests or just needed to talk. About 3 years after we met, we were buying our first house and Jay & DeLana were moving to Alaska. Our kids and theirs had become friends and we all hated to part ways, but vowed we would keep in touch. The first couple of years, we kept in touch quite often. We wrote letters, we called one another. Then, as the years went by and our kids grew and our lives took different directions, we didn’t communicate as often. They were in AK for many years and we moved to DC and then back to IL, our kids grew up, got married, started having babies, and life just got full.

Finally, they moved to Ohio, only about 6 or 7 hours from us, but we just never found the time to meet. We decided Saturday would a good chance since we were passing through Ohio. How blessed we were that God orchestrated our meeting that day! It was like we had not been away from one another for almost 19 years. We talked, we laughed, we cried, we reconnected. God gave us a gift that day, the gift of friendship. Not that our friendship wasn’t always there, but HE gave us the gift of renewing that friendship. He also gave the gift of DeLana meeting my sweet friend, Sue who was traveling with us. It makes me smile to think they too will become friends, encouraging one another, listening to one another, and loving one another. ❤ We chatted for much longer than we probably should’ve at the time, but it was so worth the time!

Joe & Deb with DeLana & Jay 

Getting back on the road, we met Sue’s son about 11:30pm and then Joe and I headed to our hotel. We came down some 2-lane highway in the countryside of Virginia, wishing it had been daylight so we could see the beauty God certainly made. Open fields, little small towns like where we grew up, no city lights, no traffic… It was perfect, especially after all the fog we had encountered in WV & PA. We finally arrived in Chantilly around 12:30am and unpacked the car and settled into our room. Whew…. did it ever feel good to lay down. 🙂

Early Sunday morning, we rose, tired from the days before, but we were also excited about seeing our friends at our old church from when we lived in DC years ago. Upon arriving at the building, we were greeted by friends, as though they were waiting on us. We seated ourselves, ironically behind others who were visiting that day. When we looked up at the pulpit, there were many of our friends leading worship that morning. Oh, how good it felt to be back in their presence! The singing was great, the sermon was AMAZING!! The new preacher has such passion, and such conviction. He didn’t hold punches; he made me cry, he made me smile, he made me long for more. That is the way church used to be for me. I loved getting all fired up and hearing the preacher get excited about Jesus’ love and how He died on the cross for me and for you. So often, I think that we miss that mark in the church today. (I think I will write another blog on this later).

One of things we always loved about the people at that church is that they always made and still make us feel like family. Even those who didn’t know us. That is what will keep us going back to that small congregation each time we visit this area.

Friends at Oxon Hill church of Christ

After church, we drove over to the base where we lived years ago. The area outside the base has changed so much, it’s hardly recognizable. It’s clean, it’s pretty, it’s built up, it’s refreshing! We decided to go check out our favorite place to visit while we lived here. Turkey Run Park, just off GW Parkway is right on the Potomac River, and deep in the heart of city, but you wouldn’t know that. It’s quiet, relaxing and and beautiful! However, it began raining, so we didn’t stay there. We instead drove to Great Falls, MD and walked around. We had visited Great Falls, VA a few times while we were here, but only the MD side once as we recall. It was cool, the air was crisp, and the water was rolling. Some of the C & O Canal locks are there to see, there’s a nice boardwalk over the Potomac. We took pictures, we talked, we walked, and we enjoyed our time together, with no agenda, no place to be, no one else to wait on us, or to wait on. Sometimes, that what marriages need. A get-away, a place to reconnect, a time to reflect.

Today, I rest. Today, I sit in the hotel while Joe works close-by and I ponder. Has it really been 21 years married to this amazing man? He still makes my heart go pitter-patter, like a schoolgirl, he still spoils me, he loves me unconditionally. Yes, today, I think about how lucky I am to have a man who does so much for me and so much with me. Today, I am thankful. I am thankful that God saw fit to bring our two hearts together. I am thankful for the years Joe has spent by side, through good times and bad, in sickness and in health, and through deaths and births. He is my hero, my best friend, my ally. He is the rock in my river and the comfort I need to get through my days. Although my God is all of that, Joe is the physical aspect God provides for me while I’m here on Earth.

So, in 2016, I believe I will make it a point to see the good in everything, be strong, be courageous, be encouraging, be the woman God wants me to be. I will choose to be grateful, grace-filled, and relax in knowing that my God has me right where He needs me. This year, I will focus of God’s plan for me not only in world around me, but in my family, starting with my wonderful, sweet husband.

May you be blessed today,

Deb

As I sit here going over my notes from our recent Mom Heart Leader Intensive Training (MHLIT) weekend with the wonderful, Sally Clarkson, my mind is filled with memories. Vivid pictures of women from all around our country as well as Canada and Mexico. We are all from different backgrounds, yet were brought together for a weekend we will not soon forget.

Five years ago, Sally held the first MHLIT. I remember reading on her blog that she was accepting applications for a learning packed weekend for those wanting to further their skills in speaking and writing. I had often thought about writing or speaking, I wasn’t sure I was who or what Sally was looking for to attend this training conference. However, something kept pulling at me, so I prayed about it, spoke to my sweet husband, and then submitted my application. I was chosen as one of the ladies to be part of the conference, and I was scared to death. What had I committed to? What was I really going there for? Had I made a mistake submitting the application and saying yes to attending? Again, I prayed and asked God to surround me, mold me and use me as I sat at Sally’s feet. I knew she was a vessel of the Lord’s and I was meant to learn from her. I learned so much that weekend. I met ladies from all over the world. They encouraged one-another; they were kind, loving, compassionate and accepting. I had never encountered so many women who were trying to be Godly in every way possible. More than 50 women, few knew someone else there, yet there was a presence of peace, love and joy all around. I would never be the same again.

Fast forward five short years I was able to attend a special Reunion weekend only for women who had attended one of the previous MHLIT conferences. I was even more excited to attend this weekend with Sally. I had made friends and met others either at the first conference or at Sally’s Mom Heart Conferences she holds in Dallas each year. I would finally get to see many of these ladies again. I was asked to help coordinate transportation for the weekend, and make sure everyone had a hotel room. Me, the woman who was so scared only 5 short years ago, was now part of something I never dreamed possible. I had grown, had stretched further than I realized and I was serving others in a way that only felt natural.

Sitting at the hotel anticipating the arrival of the ladies for the weekend gave me great joy. I met as many as I could at the door with chocolate and a warm, welcoming hug. There were new ladies to meet and old friends to greet. There was much squealing, giggling, and laughter in the hotel lobby as everyone arrived and gathered to meet.

The weekend was almost surreal. We ate meals together like a family. Meals that were artfully crafted by sweet ladies who served us all weekend long. I felt like a princess. I didn’t have to cook, clean, serve food, sweep floors, or anything else that resembled my life at home. This was truly a retreat for my body and soul. I was being filled, not just by tasty foods but by rich conversation and enriching friendships.

After meals, we would sit and hear Sally teach us. She told stories of her life and others shared their stories as well. She spoke of being filled so we may in turn fill others. She spoke truths and quoted scriptures. She spoke on Spiritual Disciplines and Discipleship. She told us to love God and His word more. To spend time in His word each day and to take His every word captive in our hearts. To know God, and His vocabulary. Sally spoke of community and how it and fellowship provide us with affirmation, affection, stability and belonging. We heard about marriage, motherhood, children and beauty. There was so much to hear and process in only one weekend.

The last afternoon together, we went in groups of 20 to Sally’s lovely study. The walls were lined with book cases full of books, a wall of pictures portraying many European countries Sally had visited and or lived over the years. Another wall displayed pictures of things most dear and near to her heart. Her marriage, her children, scripture. As I sat in this small study, I felt as though Sally’s life was being told inside the four walls that surrounded us. As we sat in the study, Sally in her comfy chair, she grabbed a small tea cup. While holding it, she spoke of how our lives are like a cup. We are each given a portion and what we do with our portion will determine our story. If we destroy our cup, we break our place in life. We must keep our cups filled by spending time with God and His word. (Ps 16:5-6) She then reached for a silver pitcher left to her by her mother and said, “We are called to be those who pour out. If people had a glimpse into your soul, what would they find? What’s inside your soul? Are there things in your heart you need to get rid of? It is important that you de-clutter your soul from things that prohibit you. Your lives are a story to be told. God has given you authority over your life. What are you investing in your soul?” She went on to say we should invest in words, knowledge, books and prayer, that we might have words of substance. Looking around the room, it was evident that she has invested in words, books that inspired her, and a vision of what she wanted her story to tell.

What can you do to make your life more sustainable? What story are you telling with your life? Are you living unaccountable or do you have someone who invests in you? Are you preparing for the battle that is all around? Are you strengthening others for battle? So many spears are thrown into our hearts, stones in our paths, and loneliness overwhelms us. Where do you turn for guidance? Do you turn to culture or do you turn to God? One of my favorite phrases I’ve heard Sally say many times is, “In the absence of Biblical convictions, people will go the way of the culture.”

More than anything, the message I took away from this amazing weekend was to fill up with God’s word until I am overflowing with His love and pouring into others and teaching them to do the same. We must constantly be in His word, filling up so can give freely. We cannot give from an empty well.

I am so very grateful and thankful for the time I had with like-minded Christian women, Sally and her family and the sweet ladies who served so graciously all weekend. It will be a weekend I shall never forget.

I hope to write a little more in depth on my weekend in the days to come, as God gives me the words and I make the time.

Love, Deb