Tag Archives: Relationships

Jan 12 2015

Courage, Strength and Faith

It doesn’t seem like it’s been over 21 years since I met my oldest daughter. She was almost 7 years old at that time, and she had not had much stability in the couple of years prior to me meeting her. I see her now, and I am so proud she chooses to call me “Mom.” She is beautiful, loving, and so full of faith.

Her dad and I had been long time friends who lost contact about the time he got married. He had joined the Air Force and been stationed in TX and then Germany. I had gotten married right out of high school, a year after Joe had. Fast forward to when we would meet up again, after not hearing from one another for about 7 years. He had recently been divorced, and I was just beginning my divorce proceedings. Amazingly, our friendship piked up where it left off, and about a year later, we were married. He brought 3 small children into the marriage, and I brought 2, and a little more than a year after our marriage, we had a child of our own. We now had 6 small children, ages 8 down to newborn in our home 24/7. Things changed rapidly in our lives. We learned the hard way many times, how to blend a family and make it all work. It was not easy, but we are finally reaping the benefits of working so hard.

I will write more about the trials we faced and the other children soon, but today, I want to focus of Chas. She is beginning a new adventure and I want to share it with you.

Chas, who is our oldest, has now been married to Cliff for more than 7 years. They do not have children yet, but I hope they will some day. They have been faithfully working on getting their college degrees for several years, taking time off here and there for God’s work. They were house parents for a Children’s Home in AR for about 2 1/2 years. They were the youngest house parents they had, yet, everyone admired them a great deal. The relationships they forged working in the Children’s Home have stayed with them even though they are no longer active with the Children’s Home. Some of the older parents at the Children’s Home, took them under their wings and encouraged them and helped them in many ways become the young adults they are today.

After Chas’ biological mother passed away in 2010, they left the Children’s Home and began working on their degrees again. She poured her life into school and work and tried hard not to dwell on the loss of her mother. Losing her mother had a huge impact on our whole family. Although she had not always been a great example for the children, she had turned her life around and was doing God’s work at the church and in her family and community. She had become the Mother the children needed. I know, as many do, that Chas was very much the reason for her Mother’s turn-around. She had become the stability in her Mother’s world and showed Carrie, by example what it meant to serve with a humble heart and faithfulness. Chas showed Carrie she could stand on her own two feet, with the love of Christ leading her.

About a year and a half after losing her Mother, Chas lost two of her Grandfathers. One lived in TX and after he died, Chas and her sweet husband picked up everything and went to live with her Grandma for six months. She wanted to help her get back on her feet and be there for her while she mourned and figured out her next move in life. Chas did this out of love, but also faith in God. She and Cliff trusted God would provide for them, and he did. Their being with Grandma for those short few months, gave them a better understanding of one another, and gave Grandma an appreciation of the adult Chas had become.

Chas and Cliff soon moved back to AR and began attending college once again. She changed her major for the umpteenth time and she and Cliff will now be graduating in May of this year. Upon graduating, they will be moving to Phoenix, AZ and helping plant a church. They have been doing the leg work, ground work, work, work, work, to make this move a reality. Though I am saddened by my sweet child moving so far away, I could not be more proud of her. She is again, trusting God will provide for her completely!

Today, Chas, Cliff and another couple are going to Phoenix to see the area they will be working this summer. They are stepping out on faith and love for our King. I am so proud of them.

I have set up a Go Fund Me campaign for their endeavors. If you would like to help their team, either long term or short term, could you please give just a few dollars? It would mean the world to this momma to know her girl was being supported by my friends. Thank you all in advance for helping, and always, thank you for reading my blog.

Be blessed today and always,

Marie

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http://www.gofundme.com/k2qaq4?fb_action_ids=10152757174359753&fb_action_types=og.shares&fb_ref=fb_cr_n

Aug 1 2014

Strengthening Relationships with Love

I am writing today about strengthening love relationships. As wives and mothers, I know we find it all too easy to focus all our attention on that next appointment or responsibility; a “what do I have to get done to finish this day?” approach, to life. God’s plan, His desire, is for our lives to be more than a finished checklist. The relationships we build are intended to be a type of reflection of our relationship to God.
II Corinthians 13, verses 4-7 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

As I think about these verses, I think about what a wonderful example my husband is. He has been so patient with me and the children, and now, the grandchildren. He is kind and gentle and loving and caring. He is modest and slow to anger. He does not seek approval. He is always there to protect and serve our family and our friends. He probably has the most gentle spirit of anyone I have ever met. As a husband, he is committed to our relationship and makes many sacrifices for our family. He honors the family unit. And, our sons, want to grow up to be like him. I want to share with you a poem one of our daughter-in-laws wrote.

“Your Little Girl”

What a daughter wants
is to be loved,
to be cherished,
to be hugged.

What a daughter needs
is your attention,
your caring,
your affection.

What a daughter desires
is to be the apple of your eye
and not need to search for that
in some other guy.

She wants to know she’s pretty
She wants to know you’re proud.
She wants to feel special,
because her daddy is around.

If a daddy gives these things
that I’ve already said,
all a daughter wants
is a husband like her dad.

– Suzanna Giles 10/28/12

What about you? Do your daughters see you as loving towards your husband? Will your sons seek to find a woman who treats them as you treat their dad?

If you constantly complain about your husband, this is what your children will see as the way relationships should be. If you treat your husband with love and respect, they will seek a mate that will treat them that way as well.

Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down.”

When my husband and I were first married, my mom gave us an old plaque she had found. I read this plaque every day for many, many years, as I had it hanging on my bathroom wall where I would see it many times a day. Now, after several moves, it’s old and need of cleaning and repair, but I still enjoy reading it time and again. I have often thought about making many of these and passing them on to newly wedded couples or those having troubles in their marriages, as a reminder of how to treat their marriage. Here is what the plaque says:

“A Happy Marriage”

Never both be angry at the same time.
Never yell at each other,
Unless the house is on fire.
If one of you has to win an argument,
Let it be your mate.
If you have to criticize, do it lovingly.
Never bring up mistakes of the past.
Neglect the whole world, rather than each other.
Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled.
At least once every day, try to say one kind or
Complimentary thing to your life’s partner.
When you have done something wrong,
Be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness.
It takes two to make a quarrel
And the one in the wrong is the one
Who does the most talking.

Hmmm…. The one in the wrong is the who does the most talking? I know that is has been me, many, many times.

Ladies, as moms, we are teach our children. We must put God first in our lives. We must take time each day to be in HIS word. My sweet friend, Sally Clarkson, penned these words, “In the absence of Biblical conviction, Moms will go the way of culture. In the absence of a loving home, children will go the way of the culture.” I believe this is true. In our home, we did not always put God first and I was unsure of how to incorporate a daily schedule of spending time in His Word with the children. This is something I wish I would have done better about asking for help. I wish I would have had an older woman from church who would have come alongside me and taught me this. But, we often do not want to be held accountable in this manner.

In Titus II, verses 3-7, Paul says, “Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then, you can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”

The relationship we have with our God is reflected in the relationships we have with our husbands and our family, as well as others in our lives. The love that governs these relationships is our testimony to a lost world and defense from a morally bankrupt, often hostile culture. In 1 Peter 4:8 Paul tells us, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Jesus says to us in John 13: 34-35, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this, everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” And again he says in John 15:12-13, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for his friends.

Jesus tells us over and over the greatest thing we can do is love one another and put past us that which others have wronged us and love them, as he loves us. He chose us; he died for us. We should then also put others’ needs above our own. He will take care of our needs when we do this. When we love like God loves, we see each person past their sins and we love them anyway. God loves us past our sins, and we are to love others as God loves us. As we love earnestly and forgive and move past sins, we are able to extend grace to those around us, just as God freely gives us grace. We should pray for help with loving others through their faults. He commands us to love; it is not an option. We need to review God’s love through His Word frequently as a reminder of how to love as He loves us.